In Rwanda, marriage is viewed as a significant decision that involves careful consideration of various factors, including financial stability, maturity, societal expectations, and individual needs.
In the wake of a legal proposal by the Rwanda government to reduce the marriage age from 21 to 18 years, the public is widely divided.
While some marry before the age of 25, others wait until their 40s or beyond based on personal experiences or observations. To some others, age is just a number.
To comprehensively explore perspectives on the ideal age for marriage and the factors influencing this decision, IGIHE spoke to different members of the society.
A 25-year-old motorcyclist, who preferred to remain anonymous, believes that marriage should begin from age 20.
"Marriage goes with financial ability. From my understanding, a person who is 20 years old or above can get married because at that age someone is at least financially stable to run a family,' he explained.
Yassin Munyentwari, a local journalist in his thirties thinks that there should be no specific age for getting married.
"A person should consider marriage when they feel fully prepared, both mentally and emotionally. This decision should be made after finding someone they believe can spend the rest of their life with them,' he reasoned.
According to him, once consensus between a couple is reached at considering current and future life needs, the decision to get married should apply equally to both girls and boys.
'Everyone should have the autonomy to decide when they feel ready for marriage, without being restricted by age," he said.
Pascal Baziki, a 33-year-old airtime vendor from Rusizi District, observes that societal pressure often influences people to marry early.
"Some people do it under pressure basing on others who have got married or even given birth. However, I personally think this should be an individual choice,' he said.
Baziki has decided to marry in two years' time when he clocks the age of 35 because that's when he will be ready and well equipped to conduct a wedding ceremony without being a burden to anyone.
Solange Niyoniringiye is a 22-year-old businesswoman in Kigali. She shared her views emphasizing that no one should be compelled to marry just because others have.
"A person should be prepared enough to get married. Being engaged is one thing but transforming into a legal marriage involves many factors especially financially. It would be weird to get married and start soliciting for food from neighbors the next day," she said.
Richard Twizeyimana, a 33-year-old man from Gatsibo District, says that engagements should last at least three years to allow for thorough consideration of one's life partner.
"Nowadays, people's engagements can last for one month, but it should be at least three years. That is when you will have enough time to get a thorough understanding of your life partner,' he says.
For ladies in particular, Twizeyimana explains that the perfect age for marriage should be 24 years old and above.
These diverse views highlight that marriage is a subject with varying perspectives.
To address this complex issue, the focus should be put on ensuring the well-being and future prospects of marriage as an institution. Young citizens should be empowered to enter marriage with the maturity and resources necessary for a stable and fulfilling relationship.
Rwandan family law currently sets the legal marriage age at 21. However, in March 2024, the Ministry of Gender and Family Promotion reported that numerous girls aged 18 to 20 sought permission from the Ministry of Local Government to marry, but their requests were denied.
Sources say that many of those seeking to marry before 21 were either pregnant or sought to take on employment opportunities abroad that require an affirmative marital status.
A legislative proposal is currently under review by the Rwandan Parliament that could potentially lower the marriage age to 18 if individuals have valid reasons.
According to The Barrett Academy, an international think-tank on human consciousness, there are seven stages of psychological development.
Between age 20 and 25, individuals typically reach physical and mental maturity, completing the first three stages: surviving, conforming, and differentiating.
Research by Nicholas H. Wolfinger from the University of Utah suggests that the optimal age for marriage is between 28 and 32.
Théophile Niyitegeka
Source : https://en.igihe.com/social/article/relationship-talk-when-is-the-right-time-to-tie-the-knot
